“Codswallop” in an American’s point of View
by Rumpshakerbootybaker
Summary: Okay some of you have misunderstood my summary. Please read it carefully. Thank you very much! Now Britan has a word called, "Codswallop", me being a biotch... said it was gay so I feel bad and am making it up. Read it b4 u diss it.
1. Whisky Pond Part One1Uno

The meaning of "Codswallop" in an American's point of view  
  
By: Rumpshakerbootybaker  
  
Part One: The mystery of the silver tampon.  
  
Chapter one: Whisky pond Part 1  
  
Year: 4th year, age 14 for all except Hermione and Draco, Hermione is 13 and Draco will turn 15.  
  
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Preview: *Loud action music like…boom chicka, chicka boom chicka, chicka!!!* Life isn't very easy, shit it isn't at all, your trying to get along with a group full of cocky Qudditch players from Slytherin, because you're the coach of cheerleading for all four houses, but some fat ass with a big head is making it difficult for you, then your enemy and you have a close encounter and every time you see his bright blond… erm… every time you see HIM you get horny and pissed off at the same time!!! *Gasp* *Pant*  
  
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Draco Malfoy's Point of View:  
  
Yea, okay my mom is crying over the fact I am going to Hogwarts as a prefect, I am like okay then… its not my fault my mother has such low standards for me anything from winning the ugly award to last kid to loose all his teeth award and she'll beam, but when it comes to making Slytherin's Seeker or Prefect she'd start bawling, I'd hate to see her when I'd get to become head boy. If you haven't figured it out yet, I am Draco Malfoy… 14 years of age and so fucking down no body can resist me.   
  
I laugh out loud as I sit next to Markus Flint, Crabbe, Goyle, and this new kid named Tre Yaros. Tre was a mud blood, but I didn't care. Father said before I died I was a disgrace to the Wizard name…I laughed at him, and I still piss on his grave. Tre had this dirty blond hair and green eyes and was really tan. He was a Qudditch beater, and very, very stupid.  
  
"Sup Markus, Tre, Crabbe, Goyle?" I say as I slouched on a couch, with a soda in my hands. They were trying to hide their hands from my view.  
  
"Not shit." The four of them said at the same time as they held something in their hands, away from my view. I got up casually and walked over there, and snatched it away from them. It was a diary.  
  
"The Diary of Hermione Granger. Ah… you guys no better than finding a book and not returning it." I said and glanced at their guilty faces. Tre had this look like… 'what are you waiting for read it'. I laughed. So I opened the book to amuse us on our 5 hour trip to Hogwarts.  
  
"'Dear Diary, New Entry 4th year  
  
My name is Hermione Granger… the bushy haired brainy know it all, as so Draco Malfoy calls me. I hate him so bad, and his blond hair and gray eyes make me want to… I better not write it down… oh well… I can care less. Draco is hot… everyone knows it why cant I acknowledge it?.." I paused.  
  
"Nu uh… you are making that up!" Markus had said, but I had showed them the part that he had read and they started cracking up. I had hid his face in the book for I was hot in the face and knew that I was blushing and my stomach started bubbling with emotion.  
  
" Anyways, He is so mean to me… I wish he would just leave me alone. When I see him I just want to jump him and strangle him ("Oh Thanks" I said sarcastically) but then I wanna kiss his beautiful lips ("There we go…" I muttered) and god there I go again. My mom said she has less than a year to live… I am really scared for her. She has a disease that eats away at your brain cells… so she is either dying or going mentally retarded. My dad left my mom last year… so yea my life is going down hill… ever since I started liking Draco… stupid git. Oh well. I better go… Ron and Harry just came in. And as a secret… I think Ron likes me cause he keeps starring. Oh boi…let the drama begin.   
  
Love Always,  
  
Hermione Granger'"  
  
"Holy Shit…" Tre said as he looked at me and I wished I didn't read it.  
  
"Her mum is going to die… how awful." Crabbe said as he looked at a picture of his mom, fat short and ugly like him… but beautiful in his eyes… and that's all that matters. Even the pricks in Slytherin love their parents, and could never imagine loosing them, and instantly pitied her. I snorted… my mom's been in a nut house for sometime… but I still took out a photo and instantly regretted it for my stomach churned. My sister, Dakota… who I knew for a only short while was in this photo. She was really beautiful… and she was what made my mom go into a facility for the mental. She passed away in a car crash… and it haunted my normally blue eyes into their present color, gray.  
  
"We have to return this book to her without her knowing." Tre had said. We nodded.  
  
"No picking on her this year, either." I said. "Come on Markus, lets go and give it back." As we looked for her we made up a plan to give the book back.  
  
When we found her she was alone, asleep sprawled out on the seat. So our plan was instantly screwed up, but we both noticed something we shouldn't have. Hermione's skirt was hiked up on her higher thigh, and they could see her baby blue silky underwear, and her creamy white thighs. Markus started drooling, and I was smirking. They fought for the entrance and I won and took the book and bent down to her bag, which was laying on her lap, and looked under her skirt at the same time, and my breath got caught. So I hurriedly put the book in the back, and started crawling away when I hear Hermione sigh. So me and Markus started a conversation up immediately and walked in, we sat down across from her acting as if we hadn't noticed her.   
  
"Oh my god… what are you doing in here?" Hermione said… surprisingly soft. She pulled down her skirt, and turned towards them with a brow raised. I just stared.  
  
"Um… we didn't see you." Markus said.  
  
"Right…" Hermione said and settled her accusing eyes on me.  
  
"Seriously, Hermione, we meant no trouble. I guess we should leave." I brought each word out calmly, and winced inwardly at how casual Hermione sounded. But her face turned into one of disbelief. 'Shit… believe me damn you,' I thought.  
  
"Did you… did you just call me Hermione?" She said.  
  
"That is your name, isn't?" I said, and flashed all my pearly whites in a fake cheesy smile as Markus excused himself and as I got up and went to the door, I licked my lips slowly and Hermione watched my tongue and bit her lip as I left.   
  
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Hermione Granger's Point Of View:  
  
'That was odd…" I thought. I looked at the floor and noticed a picture lay where Draco had sat. 'Maybe it had fell out of his pocket,' I thought as I read the back.  
  
Draco-14  
  
Dakota-13  
  
Kassie-14  
  
Dad- 38  
  
Mum-27  
  
Rip, Dakota Eileen Malfoy… July 28th 2003. I love you baby sister, and I will never forget our precious moments together… please forgive me for being mean to you all the time.  
  
The picture brought tears to my eyes as I thought of my mom. Draco and Kassie were laughing and turning Lucious's hair different colors without him knowing and alas they looked back at me, Dakota rolling her eyes, as Draco and Kassie were giggling like little girls. I grinned sadly, I felt so bad for talking trash about Draco and his family all the time. I knew Draco never had the coldness to kill anybody… he wouldn't even hit me back when I smacked him last year. He just told me to stay away from him but I knew he would never hit me. I decided to give it back to him when I stopped crying.  
  
When we got to school, we did the normal thing. Road the carriages to the school, got seated at the tables, talked and waited for the new years. They all piled in look frightened and curious… one girl with blond hair and pink tips and streaks had high fived Draco Malfoy as she walked by with his identical smirk, yet she looked way older than 11.  
  
"Suspended before she was even sorted, that girl with the pink stuff in her hair, she did something to Filch and he reported it." Someone said behind me and I looked and it was Fred.  
  
"What did she do?" Ron asked.  
  
"She floored him." George said laughing.  
  
"Floored him?" Ginny asked uncertainly.  
  
"She pulled down his pants… and he wasn't wearing any underwear." Fred said laughing.  
  
"Isn't she a hottie?" George said laughing.  
  
"I think that I am in love." Fred said dreamily.  
  
"She looks as old as Draco." I noticed.  
  
"Draco? Don't you mean Malfoy?" Harry said starring at me with uncertainty, " She was expelled from some other school, 'Denise's Fine Witchcraft for Fine Witches', or something, that's what I heard, Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall were arguing about putting her in with the fourth years… Dumbledore is deciding and announcing it in a short while… plus Draco and Kassie are twins."  
  
"I hate all Malfoys." Ron said gloomily.  
  
"Well doesn't everybody… they're so cold, and sour all the time… for no reason." Fred said  
  
"We have so much in common with them." George said sarcastically.  
  
"Except that you didn't loose a sister." I said in a harsh tone. The table fell silent in bewilderment.   
  
"Malfoy didn't loose a sister… he'd be gloomy. I lost my cat and I was gloomy for a month. It's impossible." Lavender said.  
  
"It's Draco. It's the Truth." I said and flipped the picture down onto the table. Everyone looked at it and swallowed hard. I felt my heart being torn when Ron snorted.  
  
"So?" Ron said.  
  
"Draco is still 14." I spat at him and snorted back at him as he blinked.  
  
"How would you know?" Oliver Wood asked, also joining into the conversation.  
  
"On the picture, in the background… there is a pond. Whisky pond, it only shows up one year in a century… it's this year. No body knows of it's exact location, cause it changes every century." I say as if it was the simplest thing in the world.  
  
"Whisky pond?" Ron asked.  
  
"Is it full of whisky?" George asked smirking and Fred started laughing… thinking of millions of schemes.  
  
"Actually yes. Usually appears around May, and only a few people know of it's location, only to one person or one family to be exact. Guess it's the Malfoy's turn this century." I said and smiled as George and Fred's faces fell.  
  
"Draco is really an ok guy, but he has to live up to his father's high standards. Don't hate Draco… hate Lucious." I said and gave a hard glower at Ron who was chewing his nail's unimpressed.  
  
"Wonderful speech… Hermione, but has Draco changed anyway from last year…nooooooope." Ron said distastefully.  
  
"Yes, Ron." I spat, and continued, "He, Markus, and I had somewhat of a decent conversation earlier this fine day. And it seems you cant even have one, Ron." I frowned… knowing this has gone overboard… but Ron can be a very big jerk.  
  
"Remember all those things he had said to us, he called you a mudblood… he called me poor, and made fun of Harry for having no parents." Ron said. My eye twitched.  
  
"Its true though… does the obvious hurt you? I'm a muggle born, you are a have-not, Harry has never HAD parents… unless you count the few months he's known them. Mudblood is another name for muggle, poor is another word for have-not, Harry's parents left him to early. Whoop-to-doo, shoot Draco for naming the obvious. I am sorry for snapping, but you all are starting crap with Draco, and I think you should wait and see what he is like before turning into something of what he was last year." I said and panted heavily and moved away from them, Ginny, Parvarti, Lavender, Fred and George followed, bombarding me with questions and looks of concern I just sighed and paid attention to the kids being sorted.  
  
"Kassandra Malfoy." Professor McGonagall said with small sound of curiosity.  
  
"Kassie, Professor, Kassie." Kassie reminded her, Kassie's voice had no British accent at all… she sounded like an American, her voice was smooth and low, and very husky as if she had never been scared in her life. Her hair was blond with pink streaks and ends, and her eyes silver and empty, her lips full and soft, her features exactly like Draco's except more feminine and pretty.  
  
She walked up to the four-legged stool sat down and smirked as the hat touched her head, instantly jumping to live. She looked impatient as it read her mind.  
  
"Gryffindor!" The hat hollered.  
  
"What?!" Kassie said.  
  
"What?!" Draco spat standing up instantly.  
  
"What?" Harry said.  
  
"Hurry along, now." Professor McGonagall said. Kassie slumped into a seat next to Fred and across from George who shook her hands, and she gave a weird, sort of weak smile and shook hands with practically everyone she could get to before frowning very deeply, looking pathetically out of place.  
  
"Kassie Malfoy, you will be starting as a 4th year this year. We have recently got your score from the other school and your percentage extends higher than 3rd years. Good Luck to you, and Welcome to Hogwarts." Headmaster Dumbledore has said. She smiled and looked at Draco, he seemed somewhat relieved but still freaked out.  
  
"So is it true? We're you expelled?" Fred asked.  
  
"Oh my god, did Draco say that… I'll kick his ass." Kassie said. "Yea, I was expelled, by the Way… the name is Kassie Malfoy."  
  
"I'm Fred Weasley, that's my twin George, that's my brother Ron, and my sister Ginny. That is Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Parvarti Patil, Lavender Brown, Oliver Wood, Neville Longbottom, Lee Jordan, Collin Creevey, and Seamus Finnegan." Fred said, putting on a charming smile.  
  
"Great to meet ya all really, but um… why was I put here? My brother said that I would be put in Slytherin or something or another. I am nothing like you guys. I mischievous, you guys are just brave, I am malicious, you guys are *innocent*, I am persuasive, you guys are almost always right, I am conniving, you're just not." Kassie said worried.  
  
"You aren't as bad as you think." I said. That's when our friendship started… as soon as our eyes met. It's like I saw into her every being, and I could tell she was thinking the same thing.  
  
"Freaky…" I whispered.  
  
"Yea… I know. Have we met before, Hermione?" Kassie asked.  
  
"No." I said and smiled broadly.  
  
"Well then…" Fred said and Kassie returned her eyes, framed with eyeliner making her silver eyes stand out, to Fred who obviously had a liking for Kassie. I smiled and bit my index finger looking down at my goblet as it filled with a rich caramel cappuccino, my favorite.   
  
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Draco Malfoy's Point Of View:  
  
"What? No way!" Hermione whispered, in a small circle of her girl friends, who were now the Gryffindor Cheerleaders (Lavender Brown, Parvarti Patil, Pansy Parkinson, Kassie Malfoy, Hermione Granger, Ginny Weasley, and Susan Bonds) in one of the halls near the Slytherin common room.  
  
I walk out of the common room wearing a pair of khaki cargo pants and a wife beater for the heat was cranked up on this fine October Day. I notice a huddle of girls, Probably for Potter, but for some reason I can't bring myself to hate him anymore because of the pity for Hermione. Damn it, I keep calling her that. But then I see my sister, she always said Potter was ugly, from the picture she got in the Daily Prophet.   
  
"Hey Draco, what's going on?" Markus said as he walked out. Tre, Adrian Pucey, Crabbe, and Goyle followed him and Draco towards the group, all in skirts and sweaters with gold and red, except for Hermione who had a sweater and skirt of all the colors of Gryffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, and HufflePuff.  
  
"Oh my god, Draco I am a cheerleader… wont momma be so proud of me!" Kassie said and twirled her skirt spinning, and she pulled her skirt up so you could see the underwear that they had to wear for cheerleading, it said in gold letters on red, 'Gryffindor', and under that said 'Malfoy'. She pulled her skirt down.  
  
"Hey can you do that again, I didn't get to read it." Markus said. Tre and him whistled at the same time and then laughed at their perfect timing. I rolled my eyes and laughed, then stared at Hermione, who obviously made Captain of the Cheerleaders of all houses.  
  
"And what does, yours say, Hermione?" I said laughing as a scowl cam to her face, she turned around and on black letters on white underwear, 'Captain' and under that 'Granger'.  
  
"Happy?" She had asked, and I caught her eyes, licking my lips again, I saw her shudder and look away. I grinned inwardly.  
  
"Look at me!" Kassie suddenly shouted, braking my gaze of Hermione's beautiful embarrassed face to Fred, George, Harry, and Ron who were looking for the cheerleaders. Kassie twirled like she did before, and pulled her skirt up. Fred instantly started blushing, Ron and George laughed at Fred, and Harry looked away from her 'buttocks'. (AN: Lmao… my teacher said buttocks today.)  
  
Everyone left but me, Hermione, and Kassie who were walking towards Moaning Myrtle's bathroom because we had to visit her, if you couldn't tell it was Kassie's retarded idea. She loved to mess with the ghost, especially Myrtle and Peeves.   
  
"Myrtle… oh Myrtle!" Kassie called out stifling her giggles.  
  
"Oh back again are you, Malfoy?" Myrtle moaned.   
  
"Yup… so sorry Myrtle but you know its so funny." Kassie said laughing, her eye's wide with mischief. I realized Hermione's gaze at the floor as Kassie chased Myrtle with spit wads, and noticed something silver and glowing, and my nose started burning at the smell of blood.  
  
And in Silver Blood, it said on the floor.  
  
"Beyond the horrors this school beholds, A passage were death unfolds, Where fools of men get Drunk, And where The Gargoyle Dragon Sunk, The place where Silver Blood is Common, Where the silent warrior deceased also known as Bloody Baron." I read aloud, and I looked at Myrtle questionably.  
  
"It wasn't me." Myrtle sobbed.  
  
"Oh my god, ew is that a tampon?" Kassie said bewildered. She shoved me, and said, "Draco go pick it up." I gave her a look of disgust and picked it up with toilet paper, and we looked at it, then Hermione made me go and hide it in a cabinet under the sink.   
  
"We wont speak a word of this." Hermione said slowly, watching me as I was walking to the sink and washing my hands.  
  
"So Hermione, want to come to Whisky Pond with us? We're going tomorrow with Fred and George." Kassie had said.  
  
"Um…yea, sure." Hermione said with a grin. I had the strange bubbly feeling in my stomach again as I looked at Hermione's beautiful face.  
  
"Why is Fred and George coming with us?" Hermione asked, looking confused.  
  
"Because, they've became Draco's new best friends for some odd reason. Maybe they grew tastes in a day." Kassie said winking at me, I smirk and said, very conceitedly…  
  
"Yea that's why he wants to fuck you? Women are such ditz." I walk out with Hermione at my heels.  
  
"Excuse me? Did you notices ¾ of the people in that room were women? That was very rude." Hermione said.  
  
"Okay then, are you done, you talk a mile in a minute." I said and walked faster stifling my chuckles.  
  
"Ugh! I was wrong about you." Hermione began, "You are an insufferable insolent ass hole."  
  
"Thank you! You are too… wow we have so much in common." I say sarcastically. And it pretty much happened like that all day. My guardian, Tim Greene, was waiting in a carriage to take us to whisky pond. 


	2. Note to Missjudgers who r so not cool :'

To Sinbad-rulz,  
  
I am trully sorry but you read it wrong. I wasn't dissing Britains, or anywhere near that. The word... Codswallop or whatever, is what I am making a point of.  
  
And I know it sounds corny but I didn't mean to offend you... I was making a point that the word sounds absurd to an american's point of view so I am making a definiton of it.  
  
And I am not predjudice or w/e cos britans rock (look at Tom Felton, whose birfday is 2 day!!!) Iwill change the summary so it is better for you guys to understand.  
  
Love ya all always,  
  
Rump 


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